From Caracas to London

I’m celebrating my fifteenth wedding anniversary this week so I thought I’d dedicate this blog post to marriage as a way of marking the occasion. I won’t say anything funny nor ironic this time, even though, indeed, two of my all time favourite mechanisms for coping with the challenges of everyday coexistence with my dear husband are, precisely, sense of humour and a good laugh from time to time. And alas, please don’t expect any corny references to married life, as these really belong only in children’s fairy tales and have little place in ordinary life (thank goodness for ordinary life!). Marriage may not be easy, nor romantic, but it is a lot of many other good things.

I remember how disappointed I felt by the way people reacted when I broke the news of my engagement over sixteen years ago: “What!,” “Are you crazy?” and “Good luck with that…” became the top three immediate responses to my happy announcement. I was only 22 years old back then, and I knew the age factor exacerbated the sarcastic reactions. But there was something terribly sad about the cynicism and despondency behind these comments, especially when they came from older people.

So conspicuous were the negative views on marriage in the run up to my wedding that I still clearly remember, as if it had been yesterday, the refreshing good advice and happy augurs from one particular young couple -my husband’s cousin and her husband. They were genuinely delighted by the news: “marriage is the best thing in the world. You will certainly argue and have bad days” they said, “but most of the days are good and they will by far outweight the difficult times.” That was it. They didn’t say anything glamorous or cliché, they simply stated the truth.

After fifteen years of marriage and almost 38 years of life, I think those simple words, so full of wisdom, resonate with every single endeavour we might commit ourselves to fufil in life: work, relationships, children, etc. There will be bad days and setbacks and there will be obstacles to overcome, but with a positive disposition and a genuine desire to face adversity with courage and a bit of selflessness, a rewarding life will certainly mature as a result.

There is no need to lie to younger generations. On the contrary, it is quite important to prepare them for the enormous challenges of life. We will all fail at many levels, many times in our lives; some in their marriages, some in other personal relationships, some in their professional lives and most of us, in more than one aspect of life. The point I want to make, however, is that we need to show some trust in younger generations. As important as it is to prepare them to fail, it is also crucial to inject some hope and some confidence in their desire to succeed. By doing so, I am certain, we will all contribute in improving the state of our human interactions and secure more tolerance and respect in this troubled world of ours.

After fifteen years of marriage and two additions to the family, I can say that the balance so far has always remained positive. The positive points multiply exponentially every time my husband and I overcome adversity together as a team and even more when our children join in the challenge. Life is a struggle, indeed, but victory is sweet. Yes, we do argue and we have bad days but most days are good and they far outweight the setbacks. Happy Anniversary Juris!